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Self Help

  • Relationships Self Help Self Reflection
    BY:

    My Beef with the Word BUSY

    Posted On 08/27/2017
    “Kymmie, I didn’t ask because I figured you were busy.”
    “Kymmie, you’re really busy so you probably don’t have time.”
    “Kymmie, if you’re not too busy can you…”

    I hate the word busy. Aside from the word moist, busy is probably my least favorite word in the English language. Anytime someone uses the B word I cringe.

    By definition, busy means having a great deal to do. As an adult, there is ALWAYS something to do. Most of the time, my to-do list is non-negotiable (ie. going to work, grocery shopping, getting my car serviced). Other times, my to-do list consists of things that I like to do for fun (ie. blogging, binge-watching Grey’s Anatomy, scrolling through my Instagram feed). Although I’m always on the go, I don’t like to think of myself as being busy. I think of it as having priorities.

    As a teacher, we use the word “busy work” to indicate the worksheet packet we might give our students to keep them from bothering us. It usually has little to no instructional value. It is apparent that people think that the appearance of always having something to do or being “busy” makes them successful. I don’t find success in having a to-do list. In order for me to obtain my idea of success, I have to take advantage of meaningful opportunities to further my growth. As a result, I have to sacrifice spending time with people who are important me in order to accomplish my goals.  

    Over the past few years, I’ve lost plenty of “friendships” and “situationships” because I was deemed as unavailable, distant, or selfish. If I wasn’t dedicating every single moment of my life to those people in particular, then that meant I didn’t care about them.  Instead of expressing their concerns to me, those individuals made the decision to end the relationship for me. Even if I communicated my other priorities to them, it still didn’t matter.  What I’ve learned is that if someone doesn’t value my other priorities, then they don’t deserve to be a priority in the first place. I don’t expect people to plan their lives around me, so I don’t set that same expectation for others.

    My relationship with God is a priority. Blogging is a priority. Advancing in my career is a priority. Spending time with my family is a priority.  My personal development is a priority. Staying sane is a priority. Getting enough sleep is a priority. Maintaining healthy relationships is a priority. Making everyone else happy IS NOT a priority.  All of my priorities are important to me. The order of my priorities can change from month to month, week to week, or even day to day. I’ll admit, I don’t always order my priorities correctly, but I do my very best to give as much energy as I can to all of my priorities. As I develop, the way my priorities look have to develop also. I can do anything, but I can not do everything (at least not all at the same time). 

    I’m not busy, I’m employed. I’m not busy, I have a family. I’m not busy, I have a blog. I’m not busy, I’m at church. I’m not busy, I have friends. I’m not busy, I’m tired. I’m not busy, maybe I just want some time to myself. I’m not busy, I’m an adult.

    I’m not busy, but I do have priorities.

    -Kymmie

    PS: If we’re all busy, is anyone really busy?

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  • Self Help Self Reflection
    BY:

    How Making a Vision Board Changed My Perspective

    Posted On 04/16/2017

    How Making Vision Board Changed My Perspective

    I don’t care if you’re 8 or 88, a vision board is a great thing to have.

    Vision Board

    I went to a vision board party at the library back in January and it was a great experience. I was fresh into the unemployment world and I needed something to take my mind off of the reality of my situation. I needed something to help me keep my dreams in the forefront. At that moment, I didn’t know what was next, so ANYTHING was possible.

    Prior to starting on our boards, I sat through a short presentation and discussion about mission statements to set the tone for the activity. I searched through magazines and cut out whatever pictures and words spoke to me. Two hours later, all I had was the backdrop of my board. I took my magazine and scrapbook pieces home with me. I added some of my own scrapbook stuff and I took some things off of another project I did when I was in college. I finally finished my board two weeks later after I finally got it looking the way I wanted it to.

    I keep my vision board by my door and I look at it every morning before I leave home. I make decisions that reflect what is on my vision board. By seeing my goals right in front of me, I stay focused and motivated. I’m no longer overwhelmed by my goals. I’m in the process of making smaller and more specific (financial, travel, career, blog) vision boards to help me be more focused in those areas.

    For me, a vision board is a way to purge everything that is floating around in my head. I have so many dreams and aspirations and I often doubt that I can make all of them come to life. I come up with some pretty “interesting” ideas. Sometimes I am afraid to share my ideas with people because they don’t seem realistic. I’ve ALWAYS felt like my dreams and aspirations were unattainable. However, with a vision board, nothing is off limits. Nothing is too big or too small. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. I believe that 2017 is my year to do what I want to do. My vision board gave me the inspiration to follow my heart. I went from overwhelmed to empowered. Not only did I make a vision board, but I’m actively working to make my vision, a reality.

    I also finished my personal mission statement after I finished my vision board. It reads:

    “My mission is to inspire others to be themselves. I plan to use my talents and skills to motivate others to follow their dreams. I want to encourage others to live without fear and to love the their journey.”

    There is no right or wrong way to make a vision board. You don’t have to be creative or an artist. If you can cut and glue, you can make a vision board. If you aren’t sure where to start, CLICK HERE!

    -Kymmie

    Do you have a vision board? If so, what inspired you to create one? If you don’t have one, would you consider making one? Comment below.

     

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  • Self Help Seven On the Seventeenth
    BY:

    7 Steps to Creating YOUR Vision Board

    Posted On 04/16/2017

    *Things to remember before you get started*

    Vision boards take time, don’t expect to get it all done in one sitting.

    Having a vision board party might help you get started if you need some inspiration and motivation.

    There is no right or wrong way to make a vision board. Digital vision boards are also a thing!

    1. Decide the focus of your vision board 

    Career? Health Goals? Wedding? Dream House? Personal Life? All of the Above? Maybe you have a business or you are thinking about starting one.  Having a clear focus would be a good idea. The good thing is that you can have one vision board, or many. It’s totally up to you.

    2. Take time to ask yourself what you want out of life

    For my personal vision board, I thought about what I would kind of life I want to have. There is no right or wrong answer, you just need to get into a reflective head space. A good question to ask is “what would I do if there was nothing (money, education, etc.) standing in my way. Think of your values, what’s most important to you. Happiness what I decided to focus on, so I put things on there that would contribute to me living happily ever after.

    3. Decide how large or small you want your vision board to be 

    Do you want it to be on a poster or tri-fold? A few of my vision boards that I’m working on are made from a frozen pizza box that I cut apart. You could also use a cork board and thumbtacks so you can update it easily. Or maybe you don’t want a vision board, maybe you want a VISION WALL. Your options are endless.

    4. Find materials

    Magazines and newspapers are great! You’ll need some scissors to cut things out. Go to a craft store and check their clearance section for stickers and other decorative items. Also the $1 section at Target has some really cute stuff. If you can draw or have really pretty handwriting this would be the perfect excuse to buy some new pens or markers. Look around your house to see what you have, you never know what may inspire you. I already had a lot of scrapbook paper and crafty stuff at my house. I just purchased some new scrapbook paper. You can also print out a few things you find on the internet as well. You’ll also need craft glue or a hot glue gun. I used craft glue along with glue sticks to touch up the edges. Tape works too.

    5. Sort through your supplies

    When I made my vision board, I went through several magazines. I cut out anything that spoke to me. This part was the most time consuming. I looked at each page and analyzed the words and the pictures. Some of the scrapbook paper had words and phrase that spoke to me as well so I cut those out too. I put everything to the side and once I felt like I had enough stuff I started to assemble my board. I placed everything on my board before I glued it down. I changed it around a few times. Don’t be afraid to mix and match pictures and words.

    6. Put your board somewhere you can see it

    Maybe you want it in your bedroom or to keep it in your office. I keep my vision board in my living room. Sometimes when I get discouraged, I look at my vision board and it reminds me of my purpose and what I’m working towards. I put skills that I have that I want to continue to develop.

    7. Make a plan 

    After you make your vision, make a plan of how you want to bring your vision to reality. Just take one thing from your board and see what you can do to fulfill that vision.

    I know from experience that we can NEVER fully prepare for what will come our way. We have no way of knowing what life will bring us. Our vision may change, however, a vision board will always serve a reminder of who you are at your core. It’s a good idea to create a vision board every year. It’s a great way to reflect on where you’ve been and where you are headed.

    *If you don’t want to get your hands dirty, digital vision boards are a thing.*

    -Kymmie

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  • Self Help Self Reflection
    BY:

    The Sweet Smell of Success

    Posted On 01/29/2017

     This week, I equate the idea of success to running a bakery.  This post is the speech I wrote and delivered as the keynote speaker for my City Year graduation.

    The definition of success is “the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.”  We each have our own connotation of success. For some, success is making a lot of money and for others, it’s having your dream career regardless of how much you make. It could be creating a family or starting a business. Success is a very open-ended concept and there really isn’t a right or wrong answer. I decided to relate the idea of success to owning a bakery.

    The day you were born, you were given a bakery. Until you were old enough to run the bakery on your own, you had parents, teachers, and mentors to help you  along the way. Eventually, you were given the keys to your bakery and you decided to make some changes. It took a while for you to decide what changes to make.

    Let’s say your bakery specialized in red velvet cupcakes. That was the only thing your bakery made since it opened. You made red velvet cupcakes because it’s what you were familiar with and that’s what your customers knew and loved. One day you came to the realization that you really didn’t like red velvet cupcakes; you actually preferred vanilla cupcakes with vanilla frosting and sprinkles on top for fun. You were only making the red velvet cupcakes because that’s what you were expected to make. That’s all you really knew.

    You took it upon yourself to learn how to make vanilla cupcakes. You tried a few different recipes from scratch, and after a few months of trial and error, you finally had a cupcake that you were proud to share with your customers. The only issue was that your customers weren’t too fond of your decision to discontinue your red velvet cupcakes to only sell vanilla cupcakes. You went with it anyway because you knew it was a decision that was best for you.

    Most of your once loyal customers eventually stopped showing up and you took a major loss. You started to think that you were going to have to close your bakery. Months went by with little to no customers, but eventually the word got out about how wonderful your vanilla cupcakes were and you found yourself thriving. You love what you are baking and you love your customers. Years pass by and you are still pleased with your decision to make vanilla cupcakes.

    In order to reach success, regardless of how you define it, there are three things to remember.

    First, you have to be willing to start over from scratch. Starting over can be scary and you won’t always get it right on the first try.  It will take a little time to figure everything out, but eventually you WILL figure out the recipe that works for you.  Once things fall into place, you’ll be satisfied in knowing that you worked hard to achieve what you have and that you didn’t give up. Tenacity is an important ingredient.

    Second, on the road to success you are going to lose people. Whether they be coworkers, “friends”, significant others, and even family. Some losses come at a natural juncture, while other departures can be heartbreaking and unexpected. However, in order to grow and progress in your life, some people need to be left behind. On the bright side, there will be room for new people. Those people will come into your life at the right time and help you get to where you want to be. They will believe in you, more than you believe in yourself. They won’t care what you bake and they will be there during all of the burnt batches of cookies you make.

    Finally, in life you have to do what you are passionate about. You have to follow your heart. We are all different and we will all bake different desserts. There are going to be times when it seems like everyone is baking apple pie, and you really want to bake chocolate chip cookies. Go ahead and BAKE YOUR chocolate chip cookies. You will thank yourself later when you are full and satisfied. Even if everyone does decide to make apple pie at some point, that’s okay. We all have a few special ingredients that make our apple pies unique. Just make sure you bake what you love and bake it with love. And contrary to popular belief, YOU CAN HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO.

    The world is your oven, what will you bake?

    -Kymmie

    A Great Life Baker

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