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    Why I Choose to be a Tortoise and a Hare. My Race is Different Than Yours.

    Posted On 10/08/2017

    Why I Choose To Be A Tortoise And A Hare – My Race Is Different Than Yours

     

    Why I Choose to be a Tortoise and a Hare – My Race is Different Than Yours

    I remember learning about Aesop’s Fables when I was in second grade. The most notable fable is the Tortoise and the Hare. In short, the super slow tortoise challenges the supersonic hare to a race. The hare is confident. So confident that he decided to take a nap during the race. The tortoise ends up crossing the finish line before the hare as a result. The moral of the story? “Slow and steady wins the race.”

     

    The Tortoise Spirit

    It wasn’t until recently that I started feeling like a tortoise. (Your twenties have a way of doing that to you.) I’ve been out of college for two years and most of the ladies in my education cohort are in  their 3rd year of teaching. Meanwhile, I’m on my sixth job in the two years I’ve been out of college. On top of that,  I have yet to complete a full year of teaching. It’s easy for me to compare myself to other people who are  “further along” than I am. But if I ran my race at the same pace as everyone else, my life would be totally different.

    I have goals and I will achieve my goals. If I have to ride on the struggle bus there, I’m content with that. By moving slower, I have the ability to really take in my journey. Moving slower also allows for more distractions.  Distractions can be negative, but they can also provide the opportunity to discover a new skill or meet a new person to add to your cheering squad.

    The Hare Isn’t All Bad

    I do my best to see the good in everyone and this is no different. The hare is confident, lightning fast, and knows how to take a break (something I need to learn how to do).

    Think about this.  Most musicians release an album, then they promote it non-stop. You see them on every TV show and hear them on every radio station. They’re performing on every music award show and every other night while on their multi-city tour. And after a year or two of going nonstop, they basically fall off of the face of the earth. During their time away from the spotlight they are still making money and they aren’t worried about who is going to “catch up” with them. When they make their return, their fans are still there for them and the cycle repeats.

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with acknowledging that you are better at something than someone else.  In fact, if you have a talent, you should embrace it and share it with the world. That’s exactly what the hare did. The only thing I would discourage is arrogance as it was the hare’s fatal flaw. Be confident, but stay humble. Just be careful not to downplay yourself in the process.

    You Need to Have a Hare to Tortoise Ratio

    When it comes to using technology, I can learn something new in a few minutes. I’m great at using the internet to find solutions to my problems. If you want me to fix a car, I’m tortoise all the way. But believe me you, I’ll use Google and  YouTube to figure out how to fix it and it’ll be done correctly. I have to rely on my hare instincts to get me through my tortoise moments.

    My current position as a reading interventionist was designed for someone with years of teaching experience and degrees for days. But there I was interviewing for a job that I wasn’t exactly qualified for. I was honest that I wasn’t as knowledgeable about the subject matter (my tortoise), but my creativity, my work ethic, willingness to learn, and my youth (my hares) got me through the door. Fast forward a few months later, everywhere I turn, someone is telling me how awesome of a job I’m doing. If I counted myself out before I even tried, God only knows where I would be. I realized that I can’t let my deficits outshine my strengths.

    Although the tortoise and the hare are different, both understood what they were capable of and they were confident in their abilities. The hare knew he could move fast and had no worries. The tortoise knew he moved slower, but he didn’t care. He was passionate about finishing the race, not how long it took him to do so. Self-awareness and confidence go hand in hand. You need both in order to finish your race.

    At the End of the Day, We’re All Running a Different Race

    With social media, it’s easier to feel “behind”. A lot of my internet friends are super ambitious and jumping over all types of hurdles, while sometimes I feel like I’m gasping for air. I’m guilty of being so busy watching another person’s race that I’ve ended up tripping over my own feet in the process. I’ve learned that one person’s finish line might be another person’s mid-point. One person’s victory might feel like defeat to someone else. We all want to obtain success, but success doesn’t feel the same for everyone. Your finish line is for you and you only. My finish line is for me and me only. It makes it easier to cheer for someone else when you don’t see them as your competition.

    It’s okay to be a tortoise. It’s okay to be a hare. It’s okay to be both. Fast or slow it doesn’t matter.

    As long as you finish the race.

    -Kymmie

    Are you a tortoise, a hare, or both? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Leave me a comment below.

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    Stay Woke, Even When Others Sleep on Your Dreams

    Posted On 07/04/2017

    I recently wrote a post called 7 People I Don’t Have Time For.

    After posting it, I thought of an 8th person:

    THE NIGHTMARE


    My first year of college, I became friends with a group of girls in my “Welcome to College Class”. I was so happy that I made friends that I overlooked some things that I shouldn’t have. One friend, in particular, the one I considered to be my “best friend” at the time, always had something negative to say. I’m the type of person that likes to joke around with my friends, but there is a fine line. This girl? She crossed the line daily, but I was so happy to have a “friend” it didn’t matter.

    The second semester of my first year, I applied to be the night and weekend program coordinator for my school. I received an email with the job offer during one of my classes. As soon as my class was over, she was the first person I saw. I told her the news. There wasn’t a “congratulations” or “cool” or “take me out to dinner when you get paid”. I don’t exactly remember what she said, but it was something negative. Anytime I would get excited about something, she would tell me to “calm down” or that it “wasn’t that serious”.

    Fall semester of my sophomore year, I cut ties with her after she lied on me and threw me under the bus. I tried to talk to her about the situation, but she kept believing what she wanted to believe so I let it go. I deleted and blocked her number and I didn’t speak to her from that point forward.

    I’m the type of person who needs to talk through my ideas with people. I don’t do it so much for confirmation, I just need some people to help me navigate through my thoughts. I’ve noticed that most of my ideas never came to life because I TALKED way too much about them with the wrong people. Of course weighing the pros and cons of a situation is important. But those cons turned into doubt and I just left the ideas alone. I let the fears of others obstruct my vision.

    I don’t blame others, for my lack of follow through though. I blame myself. It’s easy to keep people around that don’t have a growth mindset. It’s even easier to subscribe to the doubt of others. I’ve allowed people to taint my mental mug that is filled with possibility and wonder. I believe that anything is possible if I pray and put in the work. I’m working now to build a network of people that I know will help me take this fire I’ve started to the next level of LIT.


    The Bottom Line? STAY WOKE TO WHO YOU SURROUND YOURSELF WITH.

    Some people are just plain nightmares. They are only there to invoke fear. We need people to keep it real with us, but your support system should also be problem solvers. Simply listen to what others say when you tell them your dreams or good news. Do they breathe life into your vision? Or are they always bringing a dark cloud and no umbrella? Evaluate your “support system”. You don’t have to completely cut people off, just be intentional about WHO you share WHAT with.

    The good thing about a nightmare? You can ALWAYS wake up!

    -Kymmie

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    My Mom’s Story of Miscarriage

    Posted On 05/14/2017

    First, I would like to thank my mom for allowing me to share her story. She was very open to the idea and didn’t mind answering ALL of my questions.

    Between the fact that my mom was 41 years old when she gave birth to me and the fact that my sister is 10 years older than me, I often get asked (jokingly) if I was an “accident”. I learned early on that I wasn’t an “accident”. My parents wanted a second child.

    My mom had my sister at the age of 31. She started trying for her second child at the age of 38. Statics show that women who are older have difficulties with getting pregnant naturally and are also at a higher risk of experiencing complications during pregnancy. It doesn’t mean that it’s impossible, it just may be a little harder. Needless to say, my mom understands this all too well.

    My mom was pregnant five times in three years. Yes, FIVE TIMES!  Four of the pregnancies resulted in a miscarriage. One of her miscarriages was an ectopic pregnancy. An ectopic pregnancy is when the egg is fertilized and planted outside of the uterus. As a result, she had to have surgery to have the fetus removed from her tubes. Had she not gone to the hospital in time, my mom most likely would have died.

    On her fifth attempt, my mom was pregnant with me. Most people were surprised that she was 41 years old and pregnant. They also didn’t realized that she was pregnant because she only gained eight pounds while she was pregnant with me. The only blemish during this pregnancy was that I decided that I wanted to be breach. The doctors tried to flip me over at one of her appointments, but I was stubborn (that’s one thing that hasn’t changed about me). She scheduled a C-section a few days before my due date. Funny enough the morning of her scheduled C-section, my mom started having contractions while she was getting my sister ready for school. A few hours later, I was born a HEALTHY 8 pound and 11 ounce baby.

    I have never experienced a miscarriage myself so I can’t say that I understand the emotions associated with miscarriage. However, being the baby that survived nine months in the womb that was occupied by four other babies that didn’t survive, does offer me a different perspective on life.

    From time to time, I question my existence and if I really have a purpose. This story serves as a reminder that God wanted me here on this earth for a reason. My mom endured so much to have me and it makes me realize that I can’t take my life for granted.

    The same strength and persistence that my mother showed in trying to have her second child is the same strength and persistence I aspire to use to get through hard times in my life. She didn’t let the fact that she was older or the fact that she miscarried four times discourage her. My mom’s story helps me understand why I shouldn’t allow obstacles to discourage me and why I should never give up.

    If you are reading this and you feel discouraged in some aspect of your life, don’t give up and know that you have purpose!

    Had my mom given up, I wouldn’t have been able to write this.

    -Kymmie

    Like what you’re reading? Subscribe for updates and my how to be “-tastic” email series.

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