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Self Reflection

  • Self Help Self Reflection
    BY:

    How Making a Vision Board Changed My Perspective

    Posted On 04/16/2017

    How Making Vision Board Changed My Perspective

    I don’t care if you’re 8 or 88, a vision board is a great thing to have.

    Vision Board

    I went to a vision board party at the library back in January and it was a great experience. I was fresh into the unemployment world and I needed something to take my mind off of the reality of my situation. I needed something to help me keep my dreams in the forefront. At that moment, I didn’t know what was next, so ANYTHING was possible.

    Prior to starting on our boards, I sat through a short presentation and discussion about mission statements to set the tone for the activity. I searched through magazines and cut out whatever pictures and words spoke to me. Two hours later, all I had was the backdrop of my board. I took my magazine and scrapbook pieces home with me. I added some of my own scrapbook stuff and I took some things off of another project I did when I was in college. I finally finished my board two weeks later after I finally got it looking the way I wanted it to.

    I keep my vision board by my door and I look at it every morning before I leave home. I make decisions that reflect what is on my vision board. By seeing my goals right in front of me, I stay focused and motivated. I’m no longer overwhelmed by my goals. I’m in the process of making smaller and more specific (financial, travel, career, blog) vision boards to help me be more focused in those areas.

    For me, a vision board is a way to purge everything that is floating around in my head. I have so many dreams and aspirations and I often doubt that I can make all of them come to life. I come up with some pretty “interesting” ideas. Sometimes I am afraid to share my ideas with people because they don’t seem realistic. I’ve ALWAYS felt like my dreams and aspirations were unattainable. However, with a vision board, nothing is off limits. Nothing is too big or too small. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. I believe that 2017 is my year to do what I want to do. My vision board gave me the inspiration to follow my heart. I went from overwhelmed to empowered. Not only did I make a vision board, but I’m actively working to make my vision, a reality.

    I also finished my personal mission statement after I finished my vision board. It reads:

    “My mission is to inspire others to be themselves. I plan to use my talents and skills to motivate others to follow their dreams. I want to encourage others to live without fear and to love the their journey.”

    There is no right or wrong way to make a vision board. You don’t have to be creative or an artist. If you can cut and glue, you can make a vision board. If you aren’t sure where to start, CLICK HERE!

    -Kymmie

    Do you have a vision board? If so, what inspired you to create one? If you don’t have one, would you consider making one? Comment below.

     

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  • Self Help Self Reflection
    BY:

    The Sweet Smell of Success

    Posted On 01/29/2017

     This week, I equate the idea of success to running a bakery.  This post is the speech I wrote and delivered as the keynote speaker for my City Year graduation.

    The definition of success is “the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.”  We each have our own connotation of success. For some, success is making a lot of money and for others, it’s having your dream career regardless of how much you make. It could be creating a family or starting a business. Success is a very open-ended concept and there really isn’t a right or wrong answer. I decided to relate the idea of success to owning a bakery.

    The day you were born, you were given a bakery. Until you were old enough to run the bakery on your own, you had parents, teachers, and mentors to help you  along the way. Eventually, you were given the keys to your bakery and you decided to make some changes. It took a while for you to decide what changes to make.

    Let’s say your bakery specialized in red velvet cupcakes. That was the only thing your bakery made since it opened. You made red velvet cupcakes because it’s what you were familiar with and that’s what your customers knew and loved. One day you came to the realization that you really didn’t like red velvet cupcakes; you actually preferred vanilla cupcakes with vanilla frosting and sprinkles on top for fun. You were only making the red velvet cupcakes because that’s what you were expected to make. That’s all you really knew.

    You took it upon yourself to learn how to make vanilla cupcakes. You tried a few different recipes from scratch, and after a few months of trial and error, you finally had a cupcake that you were proud to share with your customers. The only issue was that your customers weren’t too fond of your decision to discontinue your red velvet cupcakes to only sell vanilla cupcakes. You went with it anyway because you knew it was a decision that was best for you.

    Most of your once loyal customers eventually stopped showing up and you took a major loss. You started to think that you were going to have to close your bakery. Months went by with little to no customers, but eventually the word got out about how wonderful your vanilla cupcakes were and you found yourself thriving. You love what you are baking and you love your customers. Years pass by and you are still pleased with your decision to make vanilla cupcakes.

    In order to reach success, regardless of how you define it, there are three things to remember.

    First, you have to be willing to start over from scratch. Starting over can be scary and you won’t always get it right on the first try.  It will take a little time to figure everything out, but eventually you WILL figure out the recipe that works for you.  Once things fall into place, you’ll be satisfied in knowing that you worked hard to achieve what you have and that you didn’t give up. Tenacity is an important ingredient.

    Second, on the road to success you are going to lose people. Whether they be coworkers, “friends”, significant others, and even family. Some losses come at a natural juncture, while other departures can be heartbreaking and unexpected. However, in order to grow and progress in your life, some people need to be left behind. On the bright side, there will be room for new people. Those people will come into your life at the right time and help you get to where you want to be. They will believe in you, more than you believe in yourself. They won’t care what you bake and they will be there during all of the burnt batches of cookies you make.

    Finally, in life you have to do what you are passionate about. You have to follow your heart. We are all different and we will all bake different desserts. There are going to be times when it seems like everyone is baking apple pie, and you really want to bake chocolate chip cookies. Go ahead and BAKE YOUR chocolate chip cookies. You will thank yourself later when you are full and satisfied. Even if everyone does decide to make apple pie at some point, that’s okay. We all have a few special ingredients that make our apple pies unique. Just make sure you bake what you love and bake it with love. And contrary to popular belief, YOU CAN HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO.

    The world is your oven, what will you bake?

    -Kymmie

    A Great Life Baker

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  • Featured Post Self Reflection
    BY:

    Why I Quit Teaching After Only 4 Months

    Posted On 01/14/2017

    I quit my job as an elementary school teacher after only four months. I actually quit teaching one day mid-September, but I was encouraged to call in sick and my co-workers covered for me. To be clear, I wasn’t fired or forced out, I resigned on my own. I QUIT.

    Realistic Expectations
    It doesn’t matter if you it’s your first year, 15th year, or 30th year, teaching is hard. POINT. BLANK. PERIOD. However, first-year teachers face a unique set of challenges. Having your own classroom is totally different from working in an experienced teacher’s classroom environment. I was honest with myself and I knew my first year was not going to be a walk in the park. I wasn’t expecting my classroom to look Pinterest perfect or to become teacher of the year. But I wasn’t expecting the pure foolishness that I walked into.

    Shocked and Unsupported
    I’ve never seen anything like it. I had never been in a place where children didn’t have to take responsibility for their actions and teachers were blamed for everything. I got hit with a jump rope because I told a child they had modified recess. That child was right back in my classroom the next day jumping off of tables and trying to fight other students as if nothing happened. I’d get questioned about what I DID or DIDN’T do to cause the student to behave the way they did, right in front of my kids no less. So a child could throw crayons while I have students working in small groups and I get told that it’s my fault because their work was too hard, after being told that we need to up the rigor. I had students that would get up and play games on the desktop computers during the middle of my lessons. I was told that I needed to plan more engaging lessons, but on that day I was following the lessons provided by the school district to a T and I had differentiated text for my students to read. Anytime something happened, I was told to “just document it”. I’ve dealt with broken classroom windows, students slamming doors, frequent fights, and chairs being thrown. I can’t tell it all, but I could write a Harry Potter length book about what I experienced with my students alone during that time.
    Constantly being blamed for things and being looked down on after putting my all into my classroom didn’t sit well with me. I was often told that because I was a first-year teacher, that my kids weren’t going to be learning anything. When your goal is to TEACH and no one around you confirms or supports that, it’s discouraging. There were multiple times where issues were brought up to me in front of others and it was embarrassing. I’m open to feedback, but constant criticism when you’re already down is like salt in the wound(s). A little affirmation goes a long way.
    Throughout this four-month period, I did have the support of my friends, family, and my grade level team. I wouldn’t have made it without them.

    Totally Consumed
    I’ve always gone to school, as a student, a student-teacher, or a mentor. But for the first time in my 23 years of life, I felt like I was actually going to work and that wasn’t a good feeling. I would cry every day because I was miserable and I didn’t know what to do. I cried on my way to work, during my planning period (if I had one), after school, and when I got home. Anytime someone asked me how it was going, I would break down and cry. I wanted to say something positive, however, I couldn’t articulate anything. My team told me that I was not the same person they met during professional development week. It got to a point where I ended up on anxiety medication because I couldn’t sleep. I ended up losing 17 pounds because I couldn’t eat as a result of stress. I would worry about work 24/7. Whenever I took time for myself I felt guilty because I wasn’t lesson planning or doing something for my job. It’s hard to be effective at anything when you can’t even function. I felt bad because I would look at my students that really wanted to learn and I felt like I couldn’t help them because I was struggling.

    Asking for Help
    I reached out for help because I wanted to get myself together. However, once I enlisted help from district personnel, admin was no longer only unsupportive of my growth, but they were unsupportive and actively working against me. They sent others in my class to spy on me and my classroom and wanted those individuals to write reports up on what they observed. They wanted to say that I was the problem and have some justification as to why test scores were so low. Anything to take the pressure off of them and to keep their jobs safe. I’m sure there is a huge paper trail attached to my name. There is probably more documentation on me than students that have been at that school since kindergarten, if I’m being honest.
    Y’all! I was a FIRST YEAR TEACHER, that was asking for help because I knew I needed it. I went to professional developments on my own because I wanted my students to be successful. I could have just went through the motions until May and not even tried just to get a paycheck. BUT I ASKED FOR HELP.  It turned into a “them against me thing”. Their focus was on making me look incompetent, but my focus was ALWAYS bettering myself for my KIDS. If everyone is in the business of making themselves look good by putting others down, the kids ultimately suffer. If I’m busting my butt and others are just delegating, and not actively coaching or nurturing what I am doing well, how am I supposed to help my students flourish?
    *SideNote: I didn’t go over anyone’s head when asking for help, I was simply using a resource.*

    The Beginning of the End
    The straw that broke my back was when I had my initial evaluation the day before Thanksgiving break. It was all negative. EVERY SINGLE THING. But none of it was even about my ability to teach. I didn’t have any classroom observations prior so my evaluation was general “faculty meeting” statements mixed with assumptions. I was told that since my class had the most discipline referrals and phone calls to the office, it meant I wasn’t planning engaging lessons and this in turn, promoted misbehavior. I was essentially told that I was setting my kids up for failure. To reiterate, I didn’t have a single classroom observation prior. Any possible concerns that I had were addressed and dismissed before I could even speak. I just sat there fighting back the tears, because I felt defenseless and the effort I was making wasn’t acknowledged. The little bit of hope that I had found in that situation was diminished at that moment.

    Time to Think and a Difficult Decision
    The three days after Thanksgiving break I missed school because I was at home sick. I had a lot of time to reflect. I noticed how relaxed and stress-free I was. Why was I continuing to go to a place that stressed me out, especially if I wasn’t doing anything right in the eyes of others? During my time, I prayed and I talked to God and I asked Him for guidance. I talked to my teaching association and a few other trusted people. After all of that, I decided that I wouldn’t return to my classroom in January. I was honest with everyone about my plans of not returning and submitted my letter of resignation (although it wasn’t accepted). Sure I could have just not shown up, but I didn’t want to create chaos for anybody. I wanted the transition to be as smooth as possible. I also wanted to be able to say goodbye to my students, even after I was told not to tell my kids that I wasn’t coming back. Closure was important to me.
    Quitting my job wasn’t an easy decision. I really did love my kids and I didn’t want them to think that I was giving up on them. Not only that, but I live alone and I pay 95% of my bills. I didn’t have another job lined up before I walked away. After I made my decision, I had a sense of peace come over me. I placed it all in God’s hands and I still believe that everything will work out for me.

    Life is Short
    This experience taught me that life is entirely too short to spend it doing something that doesn’t make me happy. Of course, I have to do things that I don’t like (paying bills, pumping gas, filing taxes), but I shouldn’t stay in situations that are detrimental to my mental and emotional well-being. In this case, the teaching profession wasn’t the issue, the environment in which I was “trying” to teach in was. NO ONE WAS HAPPY AT THAT SCHOOL. The teachers didn’t want to be there and the kids didn’t want to be there either. We were just expected to deal with all that was being thrown at us and take the blame for kids being two and three grade levels behind in reading. I just couldn’t buy the crap they were trying to sell me because I knew I deserved better. I wasn’t myself in that environment. I had lost my glow, my positive attitude, and my tenacity. The second I could no longer be Kymmie, I knew it was time for me to exit stage left.

    Moving Forward
    My dream of being a teacher isn’t crushed. I don’t think I’ll be returning to the classroom anytime soon, mainly because I’ll probably lose my license from breach of contract. However, I KNOW I CAN TEACH and no one will ever be able to take away the gift that GOD has given to me. But I have a feeling I won’t be teaching in a traditional sense. *inserts thinking emoji*

    -Kymmie
    A Former First Year Teacher

    Update: I’m now a certified career coach serving 8 middle schools and the owner of Glitter, Glue, and Goals. 

    Download a free copy of my Find Your Glitter Workbook.

    Find me on Clubhouse @KymmieCartledge

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