Kymmie, Author at Simply Kymtastic

Relationships

BY: Kymmie

Heart Hickeys- Why I No Longer Have A Broken Heart

Posted On 02/26/2017

So we’re gonna talk about hickeys. (It’s not what you think)

Webster (the dictionary) says a hickey is a mark caused by a lover biting or sucking the skin. I like to think that hickeys are a visible representation of the love that you and someone share. Even when that person isn’t there, the hickey is a reminder of that moment you shared with that special person. After some research, I found that the most common way to get rid of a hickey is to rub ice on it. Some people may want to get rid of it immediately, while others might just let it naturally go away. It’s kind of like a temporary tattoo.

I’m not really big on dating because it usually ends up with me getting my feelings hurt. However, I recently decided to give this guy the time of day. It wasn’t perfect, but I really did invest as much as I could into whatever it was that we had. I didn’t drop everything I was going to spend every moment with him. To him, that meant I wasn’t invested enough. I guess he wanted to play house, but the idea of playing house with someone I’d only known for a few months wasn’t okay with me.

One day this dude sent me a text telling me that he could no longer see me because he was busy trying to pursue someone else. (I think it’s important for me to mention that this was also my last day as a teacher so I was dealing with a lot of emotions that day already.) He had the nerve to tell me that I was pushing him away, but I would text him every day and I would try to talk to him on the phone. I was angry, hurt, and totally caught off guard by it. After it was over, I would pick up my phone to try to call him because I wanted to share whatever good news I had with him, but then I remembered that I deleted his number. That feeling lasted for a few weeks, but it passed. I’ve moved on, not to another person, but I moved into a new season in my life. If I’m being honest, he wouldn’t fit into my current state of life anyways. Funny enough, he actually sent me a text the other day and I felt no need to engage in conversation with him. Sure the idea of punching him in his kneecaps crosses my mind sometimes, but I let it go.

So what does that have to do with hickeys? I’m getting to that, I promise.

I think it’s safe to say we’ve all experienced a failed relationship at some point in our lives. A relationship we thought would last forever, but it ended. Even though the relationship ended, the love you had for that person lingered. After experiencing heartbreak, I notice a lot of people tend to ice their hearts so they can prove that we aren’t bothered by the fact that we’re hurt by the end of a relationship. We blast Beyoncé or Adele (and if they cheated we, throw in a little Carrie Underwood or Jazmine Sullivan) and we make those songs our anthem even though deep down we still wish we were still with that person. We put up a good front, at least I know I do. However, as each day passes, our memory of them fades away naturally. The rate at which it fades is different for everybody.

I no longer experience heartbreaks, I experience heart hickeys. At some point, my heart enjoyed the process of getting the hickeys. When the fun was over, they were gone, but I still took the memories of them with me everywhere. At some point, my memories of that person were no longer there and it’s almost as if they never existed. My heart was beating exactly the same as it was before.

Your heartbreak isn’t a tattoo or a scar. The feeling will go away and the memories will fade away.

Just like a hickey.

-Kymmie

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Relationships

BY: Kymmie

Don’t Be a Good Guy. Just Be Yourself.

Posted On 02/19/2017

Him: I’m a good guy.

Me: What makes you a good guy?

Him: I have my own place, car, and a decent job.

Me: That doesn’t make you a good guy. That makes you an adult.

YES, this is an actual conversation I’ve had with a guy before. Needless to say we didn’t work out.

Now y’all are probably thinking… “THAT’S WHY SHE’S SINGLE”. Y’all are probably right. But WHY should I have felt more attracted to him simply because of what he had? I wasn’t moving in with him, I wasn’t driving his car, and I couldn’t go to work with him; so what does that really add to my life? Don’t get me wrong, I think a guy that is doing well for himself is GREAT and I will ALWAYS acknowledge that. But I don’t feel that a guy’s value should be placed in that. What if he lost his job, car, or his place? Would he no longer consider himself a good guy?

Truth is, most of us like to think that we are the ideal catch (myself included). Then we get in our feelings when people aren’t interested in us. Rejection doesn’t feel good, trust me, I know. But have you dated everyone that has ever approached you in a romantic manner? NO, you haven’t, and neither have I.

Sure it’s frustrating when someone that you are interested in doesn’t notice how awesome you are. We feel like we have to talk ourselves up to get someone to give us the time of day. But think about this. We all have different wants and needs when it comes to relationships. Some of us know what we want, while others aren’t really sure. Maybe you aren’t what a person needs. Maybe you are what someone needs, but they don’t realize it. It’s okay either way. At the end of the day, there is somebody for everybody. Believe that.

I promise, you’d rather attract the right person being yourself, than attract the wrong person trying to be something you’re not. You shouldn’t feel the need to compete for attention that someone isn’t willingly giving you. You don’t have to check boxes or meet certain societal criteria in order to be considered a “good catch”. If you are the best version of yourself by your own standard then that’s all that matters. If someone isn’t attracted to you for who you are then they probably aren’t the person you need anyways.

Don’t try to be a” good guy”. Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear. Just be authentic and show me how amazing (or not amazing) you are and let me decide for myself.

AND LADIES… don’t go out here trying to be a “good woman” either.

But that’s a different post for a different day.

-Kymmie

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Self Help Self Reflection

BY: Kymmie

The Sweet Smell of Success

Posted On 01/29/2017

This week, I equate the idea of success to running a bakery. This post is the speech I wrote and delivered as the keynote speaker for my City Year graduation.

The definition of success is “the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.” We each have our own connotation of success. For some, success is making a lot of money and for others, it’s having your dream career regardless of how much you make. It could be creating a family or starting a business. Success is a very open-ended concept and there really isn’t a right or wrong answer. I decided to relate the idea of success to owning a bakery.

The day you were born, you were given a bakery. Until you were old enough to run the bakery on your own, you had parents, teachers, and mentors to help you along the way. Eventually, you were given the keys to your bakery and you decided to make some changes. It took a while for you to decide what changes to make.

Let’s say your bakery specialized in red velvet cupcakes. That was the only thing your bakery made since it opened. You made red velvet cupcakes because it’s what you were familiar with and that’s what your customers knew and loved. One day you came to the realization that you really didn’t like red velvet cupcakes; you actually preferred vanilla cupcakes with vanilla frosting and sprinkles on top for fun. You were only making the red velvet cupcakes because that’s what you were expected to make. That’s all you really knew.

You took it upon yourself to learn how to make vanilla cupcakes. You tried a few different recipes from scratch, and after a few months of trial and error, you finally had a cupcake that you were proud to share with your customers. The only issue was that your customers weren’t too fond of your decision to discontinue your red velvet cupcakes to only sell vanilla cupcakes. You went with it anyway because you knew it was a decision that was best for you.

Most of your once loyal customers eventually stopped showing up and you took a major loss. You started to think that you were going to have to close your bakery. Months went by with little to no customers, but eventually the word got out about how wonderful your vanilla cupcakes were and you found yourself thriving. You love what you are baking and you love your customers. Years pass by and you are still pleased with your decision to make vanilla cupcakes.

In order to reach success, regardless of how you define it, there are three things to remember.

First, you have to be willing to start over from scratch. Starting over can be scary and you won’t always get it right on the first try. It will take a little time to figure everything out, but eventually you WILL figure out the recipe that works for you. Once things fall into place, you’ll be satisfied in knowing that you worked hard to achieve what you have and that you didn’t give up. Tenacity is an important ingredient.

Second, on the road to success you are going to lose people. Whether they be coworkers, “friends”, significant others, and even family. Some losses come at a natural juncture, while other departures can be heartbreaking and unexpected. However, in order to grow and progress in your life, some people need to be left behind. On the bright side, there will be room for new people. Those people will come into your life at the right time and help you get to where you want to be. They will believe in you, more than you believe in yourself. They won’t care what you bake and they will be there during all of the burnt batches of cookies you make.

Finally, in life you have to do what you are passionate about. You have to follow your heart. We are all different and we will all bake different desserts. There are going to be times when it seems like everyone is baking apple pie, and you really want to bake chocolate chip cookies. Go ahead and BAKE YOUR chocolate chip cookies. You will thank yourself later when you are full and satisfied. Even if everyone does decide to make apple pie at some point, that’s okay. We all have a few special ingredients that make our apple pies unique. Just make sure you bake what you love and bake it with love. And contrary to popular belief, YOU CAN HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO.

The world is your oven, what will you bake?

-Kymmie

A Great Life Baker

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Uncategorized

BY: Kymmie

Life is a Test

Posted On 01/22/2017

life is a test?

I think it’s safe to say that we’ve all taken a test or two in life. There are different types of test questions such as multiple choice and open-ended response. From my personal experience, as a student and as a teacher, I think that multiple choice questions are my favorite. As a test taker, the right answer is right there in front of you. Even if you don’t know the answer you still have a chance of getting it correct. As a teacher, they took a lot less time to grade. Open-ended response questions are a little harder because you actually have to write out the answer. I’ve skipped plenty of open-ended response questions in my day. Sometimes it was easier for me to just leave it blank than trying to make up an answer. Sure, I’d lose a few points, but I always felt like my teachers would judge me more for writing something totally wrong.

life is a TEST

I see life as a test. A test with a series of questions that we are always trying to answer. I think most of us choose the multiple choice option for our test. There are always a few options to choose from and we have to decide which one is best for us. Until this point, I’ve kind of picked from predetermined answers in life. That’s cool for some situations, but I’m starting to like the idea of writing in my own answer. I think that my life can be whatever I make it.

I’ve always had a lifelong dream of being a teacher. However, as I got older, there were other career paths that caught my attention. I stuck with teaching because it was the “safe” option. Sure, I’m great at working with kids and I do love being in the classroom, but I knew it wasn’t something I wanted to do forever. I decided before I graduated from college that I wanted to do a gap year instead of jumping right into the teaching profession. I completed a year of service with City Year as a team leader. I was still able to work with children, but my role required me to use other skills as well. I spent that year trying to figure out my next move. I applied to graduate school and I didn’t get accepted. I also applied for a number of jobs and I didn’t hear back from most of them.

I turned to teaching because everyone was in my ear telling me that was what I needed to do. I just went along with it because I spent four years working towards my degree and I didn’t want it to go to “waste”. So, I decided to give it a try. My post last week explained why my time as a teacher was short-lived. To be honest, part of me was angry with myself for going along with something that I wasn’t 100% sure was the right thing for me. I was putting all of this time, effort, and energy into a job that I wasn’t really sure about in the first place. When I decided to quit my job with no solid back up plan, I switched from a multiple choice test to the open-ended response version of my test.

LIFE is a test

Have you ever studied for a test and once you saw the first question you felt like you didn’t prepare enough for it? Well life is like that too. Sometimes we don’t feel prepared to answer the questions we face. However, when you have a blank space to write in your answer the possibilities are endless.

I never thought that I would quit teaching mid-year. Quitting my job was one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life. It’s been a month and I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time. I saw this as an opportunity for me to take my life in a different direction. I didn’t get a new test, my questions just changed a little bit.

For so long, my question was: What am I doing next? Right now, my question is: What makes me happy? I figured if I answered that question first, all of the answers to my other questions would come to me.

Starting a blog was something that I’d thought about doing for some time now, but I’d always find a reason not to. I’ve always talked myself out of doing things, but I decided that I was no longer going to stand in my own way. I bought my domain name and I didn’t turn back. I didn’t care if my family and friends were my only readers. I did this for myself. I figured that no matter what I go through, I would have something positive to give my energy to.

LIFE is a TEST

I had teachers that would pass out different versions of the same test. Each test would have different questions and different answer choices. It made it difficult for us to cheat off of our neighbor.

Life is a test, but not everyone’s test is exactly the same. With 7 billion people on this earth, it is impossible for all of us to live our lives the same way. There is no one right answer. You also shouldn’t feel the need to cheat off of someone else’s test. God gives all of us a different test because He made each of us differently. (BTW: He has the master-key to my test.)

Just because you see someone else is on question 43 and you’re still stuck on question 29, you shouldn’t feel bad. We all progress at different times. Just because they seem like they are ahead, they may have skipped a few questions along the way. Also, it doesn’t mean they got all of their answers exactly right the first time either.

Life is short, but our TEST isn’t timed. At 23, I have to tell myself to slow down and try not to rush. There are times I see people my age that have certain accomplishments, and I feel like I’m not doing enough. I have to remind myself that I’ve accomplished things in my life that the people I’m comparing myself to haven’t accomplished. All of my answers placed me where I’m supposed to be. Had I not selected or written the answers I did, you wouldn’t be reading this.

LIFE IS A TEST

If you don’t know the answer, it’s okay to change the question.

-Kymmie

An awesome test taker

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