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Self Reflection

  • Self Reflection
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    I Don’t Have a New Year’s Resolution for 2018… and that’s okay

    Posted On 12/09/2017

    Tis the season to be jolly and to everyone figuring sharing why 2018 will be their year. My newsfeeds and timelines are filled with my internet friend’s personal highlights the lowlights and everything in between from 2017. On the flip side, I see a number of New Year’s Resolution posts. I enjoy seeing the excitement of others as they make these declarations for what they want in 2018. As I read the posts, I can’t help but think, “shouldn’t I already know what I want out of 2018?” The truth is,  I don’t know. I’ve always been the person that enjoys having a plan A, B and C. I like having everything mapped out and dates set in stone. 2017 was the first year I didn’t have anything planned. I just knew I needed a new job and everything else would fall into place around that.

    And it did.

    While sitting at home in my unemployment,  I decided I wanted to start a blog. I researched how to go about starting a blog and I purchase my domain name on the same day. 13 days later, I launched simplykymtastic.com. I had no idea what I was doing, no long-term plan, and I didn’t know if I would even be good at it. It’s almost a year later and  I’ve developed a blogging support system filled with my friends and family, I’m in a number of Facebook communities for bloggers and entrepreneurs and I’m working with an AMAZING writing coach. None of this was premeditated. As a result, 2017 was probably the best year of my life. 2017 was far from perfect, but it was the first time I felt like I really lived my life without caring so much. SideNote: I did find a new job. 

    Do I have goals? Yes! Do I have a plan to meet my goals? Absolutely! I use my vision boards and my Slay Your Goals Planner to help me stay accountable.   EVERY DAY is a great day to make something happen. January 1st shouldn’t be the only day I feel compelled to start over, cut someone out of my life or kick a bad habit. I can’t confidently say that I’ll have a renewed sense of mind and all of the setbacks and obstacles that happened to me in 2017 will just magically leave my memory when the clock strikes midnight. Nor do I believe that my life will be drastically different in 2018. I want 2018 to be 2017: The Sequel. Not because 2017 was perfect (Trust me, IT WASN’T), but I’ve learned so much this year and I don’t believe I should interrupt this path I’m on. I’m still learning more about myself and I like the direction I’m going in.

    I’m not anti-New Year’s Resolutions, but creating a New Year’s Resolution isn’t right for me; not this year.

    I don’t know what new adventures 2018 will bring, but I do know that it will be SIMPLY KYMTASTIC!

    -Kymmie

    What’s your attitude towards New Year’s Resolutions? I’d love it if you shared your thoughts below in the comments.

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  • Featured Post Self Reflection Twenty Somethings
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    Why I Choose to be a Tortoise and a Hare. My Race is Different Than Yours.

    Posted On 10/08/2017

    Why I Choose To Be A Tortoise And A Hare – My Race Is Different Than Yours

     

    Why I Choose to be a Tortoise and a Hare – My Race is Different Than Yours

    I remember learning about Aesop’s Fables when I was in second grade. The most notable fable is the Tortoise and the Hare. In short, the super slow tortoise challenges the supersonic hare to a race. The hare is confident. So confident that he decided to take a nap during the race. The tortoise ends up crossing the finish line before the hare as a result. The moral of the story? “Slow and steady wins the race.”

     

    The Tortoise Spirit

    It wasn’t until recently that I started feeling like a tortoise. (Your twenties have a way of doing that to you.) I’ve been out of college for two years and most of the ladies in my education cohort are in  their 3rd year of teaching. Meanwhile, I’m on my sixth job in the two years I’ve been out of college. On top of that,  I have yet to complete a full year of teaching. It’s easy for me to compare myself to other people who are  “further along” than I am. But if I ran my race at the same pace as everyone else, my life would be totally different.

    I have goals and I will achieve my goals. If I have to ride on the struggle bus there, I’m content with that. By moving slower, I have the ability to really take in my journey. Moving slower also allows for more distractions.  Distractions can be negative, but they can also provide the opportunity to discover a new skill or meet a new person to add to your cheering squad.

    The Hare Isn’t All Bad

    I do my best to see the good in everyone and this is no different. The hare is confident, lightning fast, and knows how to take a break (something I need to learn how to do).

    Think about this.  Most musicians release an album, then they promote it non-stop. You see them on every TV show and hear them on every radio station. They’re performing on every music award show and every other night while on their multi-city tour. And after a year or two of going nonstop, they basically fall off of the face of the earth. During their time away from the spotlight they are still making money and they aren’t worried about who is going to “catch up” with them. When they make their return, their fans are still there for them and the cycle repeats.

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with acknowledging that you are better at something than someone else.  In fact, if you have a talent, you should embrace it and share it with the world. That’s exactly what the hare did. The only thing I would discourage is arrogance as it was the hare’s fatal flaw. Be confident, but stay humble. Just be careful not to downplay yourself in the process.

    You Need to Have a Hare to Tortoise Ratio

    When it comes to using technology, I can learn something new in a few minutes. I’m great at using the internet to find solutions to my problems. If you want me to fix a car, I’m tortoise all the way. But believe me you, I’ll use Google and  YouTube to figure out how to fix it and it’ll be done correctly. I have to rely on my hare instincts to get me through my tortoise moments.

    My current position as a reading interventionist was designed for someone with years of teaching experience and degrees for days. But there I was interviewing for a job that I wasn’t exactly qualified for. I was honest that I wasn’t as knowledgeable about the subject matter (my tortoise), but my creativity, my work ethic, willingness to learn, and my youth (my hares) got me through the door. Fast forward a few months later, everywhere I turn, someone is telling me how awesome of a job I’m doing. If I counted myself out before I even tried, God only knows where I would be. I realized that I can’t let my deficits outshine my strengths.

    Although the tortoise and the hare are different, both understood what they were capable of and they were confident in their abilities. The hare knew he could move fast and had no worries. The tortoise knew he moved slower, but he didn’t care. He was passionate about finishing the race, not how long it took him to do so. Self-awareness and confidence go hand in hand. You need both in order to finish your race.

    At the End of the Day, We’re All Running a Different Race

    With social media, it’s easier to feel “behind”. A lot of my internet friends are super ambitious and jumping over all types of hurdles, while sometimes I feel like I’m gasping for air. I’m guilty of being so busy watching another person’s race that I’ve ended up tripping over my own feet in the process. I’ve learned that one person’s finish line might be another person’s mid-point. One person’s victory might feel like defeat to someone else. We all want to obtain success, but success doesn’t feel the same for everyone. Your finish line is for you and you only. My finish line is for me and me only. It makes it easier to cheer for someone else when you don’t see them as your competition.

    It’s okay to be a tortoise. It’s okay to be a hare. It’s okay to be both. Fast or slow it doesn’t matter.

    As long as you finish the race.

    -Kymmie

    Are you a tortoise, a hare, or both? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Leave me a comment below.

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  • Relationships Self Help Self Reflection
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    My Beef with the Word BUSY

    Posted On 08/27/2017
    “Kymmie, I didn’t ask because I figured you were busy.”
    “Kymmie, you’re really busy so you probably don’t have time.”
    “Kymmie, if you’re not too busy can you…”

    I hate the word busy. Aside from the word moist, busy is probably my least favorite word in the English language. Anytime someone uses the B word I cringe.

    By definition, busy means having a great deal to do. As an adult, there is ALWAYS something to do. Most of the time, my to-do list is non-negotiable (ie. going to work, grocery shopping, getting my car serviced). Other times, my to-do list consists of things that I like to do for fun (ie. blogging, binge-watching Grey’s Anatomy, scrolling through my Instagram feed). Although I’m always on the go, I don’t like to think of myself as being busy. I think of it as having priorities.

    As a teacher, we use the word “busy work” to indicate the worksheet packet we might give our students to keep them from bothering us. It usually has little to no instructional value. It is apparent that people think that the appearance of always having something to do or being “busy” makes them successful. I don’t find success in having a to-do list. In order for me to obtain my idea of success, I have to take advantage of meaningful opportunities to further my growth. As a result, I have to sacrifice spending time with people who are important me in order to accomplish my goals.  

    Over the past few years, I’ve lost plenty of “friendships” and “situationships” because I was deemed as unavailable, distant, or selfish. If I wasn’t dedicating every single moment of my life to those people in particular, then that meant I didn’t care about them.  Instead of expressing their concerns to me, those individuals made the decision to end the relationship for me. Even if I communicated my other priorities to them, it still didn’t matter.  What I’ve learned is that if someone doesn’t value my other priorities, then they don’t deserve to be a priority in the first place. I don’t expect people to plan their lives around me, so I don’t set that same expectation for others.

    My relationship with God is a priority. Blogging is a priority. Advancing in my career is a priority. Spending time with my family is a priority.  My personal development is a priority. Staying sane is a priority. Getting enough sleep is a priority. Maintaining healthy relationships is a priority. Making everyone else happy IS NOT a priority.  All of my priorities are important to me. The order of my priorities can change from month to month, week to week, or even day to day. I’ll admit, I don’t always order my priorities correctly, but I do my very best to give as much energy as I can to all of my priorities. As I develop, the way my priorities look have to develop also. I can do anything, but I can not do everything (at least not all at the same time). 

    I’m not busy, I’m employed. I’m not busy, I have a family. I’m not busy, I have a blog. I’m not busy, I’m at church. I’m not busy, I have friends. I’m not busy, I’m tired. I’m not busy, maybe I just want some time to myself. I’m not busy, I’m an adult.

    I’m not busy, but I do have priorities.

    -Kymmie

    PS: If we’re all busy, is anyone really busy?

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  • Featured Post Self Reflection
    BY:

    My Mom’s Story of Miscarriage

    Posted On 05/14/2017

    First, I would like to thank my mom for allowing me to share her story. She was very open to the idea and didn’t mind answering ALL of my questions.

    —

    Between the fact that my mom was 41 years old when she gave birth to me and the fact that my sister is 10 years older than me, I often get asked (jokingly) if I was an “accident”. I learned early on that I wasn’t an “accident”. My parents wanted a second child.

    My mom had my sister at the age of 31. She started trying for her second child at the age of 38. Statics show that women who are older have difficulties with getting pregnant naturally and are also at a higher risk of experiencing complications during pregnancy. It doesn’t mean that it’s impossible, it just may be a little harder. Needless to say, my mom understands this all too well.

    —

    My mom was pregnant five times in three years. Yes, FIVE TIMES!  Four of the pregnancies resulted in a miscarriage. One of her miscarriages was an ectopic pregnancy. An ectopic pregnancy is when the egg is fertilized and planted outside of the uterus. As a result, she had to have surgery to have the fetus removed from her tubes. Had she not gone to the hospital in time, my mom most likely would have died.

    On her fifth attempt, my mom was pregnant with me. Most people were surprised that she was 41 years old and pregnant. They also didn’t realized that she was pregnant because she only gained eight pounds while she was pregnant with me. The only blemish during this pregnancy was that I decided that I wanted to be breach. The doctors tried to flip me over at one of her appointments, but I was stubborn (that’s one thing that hasn’t changed about me). She scheduled a C-section a few days before my due date. Funny enough the morning of her scheduled C-section, my mom started having contractions while she was getting my sister ready for school. A few hours later, I was born a HEALTHY 8 pound and 11 ounce baby.

    —

    I have never experienced a miscarriage myself so I can’t say that I understand the emotions associated with miscarriage. However, being the baby that survived nine months in the womb that was occupied by four other babies that didn’t survive, does offer me a different perspective on life.

    From time to time, I question my existence and if I really have a purpose. This story serves as a reminder that God wanted me here on this earth for a reason. My mom endured so much to have me and it makes me realize that I can’t take my life for granted.

    The same strength and persistence that my mother showed in trying to have her second child is the same strength and persistence I aspire to use to get through hard times in my life. She didn’t let the fact that she was older or the fact that she miscarried four times discourage her. My mom’s story helps me understand why I shouldn’t allow obstacles to discourage me and why I should never give up.

    If you are reading this and you feel discouraged in some aspect of your life, don’t give up and know that you have purpose!

    Had my mom given up, I wouldn’t have been able to write this.

    -Kymmie

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  • Self Reflection
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    The Time I Gained 30 pounds in 3 Months- Living With PCOS

    Posted On 04/23/2017

    *Disclaimer: This is a personal post. It took a lot of courage to share something that was very personal. I also get a little graphic about my bodily functions, so if that makes you uncomfortable, you might not want to read this.*

    I have a medical condition called Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). Here is my PCOS story.

    My sophomore year of college was the year of self-discovery for me. I went from only going to class to being involved in multiple extracurricular activities. On top of being a full-time student, I was the night and weekend program coordinator for my campus, I was a co-instructor for a course for first-year students, and I had to complete hours of service at an after school program.  I was always somewhere, doing something. I enjoyed my time, however, I was always exhausted no matter how much sleep I got.

    We’ve all heard of the freshman 15. I managed to escape that. I actually lost a few pounds my first year of college. However, the fall semester of my sophomore year of college, I gained 30 pounds. I expected to gain a few pounds because I had been eating a little more. Still the reality of gaining that much weight in such a short time took a toll on me.

    Going from a size 8/10 to a 16 was a major change. Don’t get me wrong, there isn’t anything wrong with being a 16, but when I would go to get dressed my clothes didn’t fit. It was frustrating because I’d go through 4 or 5 outfits at a time and I didn’t feel comfortable in any of them. Eventually, I’d just throw on an outfit and just go about my day. At times, I would literally avoid going places because I didn’t feel comfortable in my own body. Every time I went somewhere, someone would comment on my weight. I was already self-conscious and that didn’t help me at all. My self-esteem took a major hit.

    After winter break, things got a little more interesting, for a lack of a better word. It was the first week in February and I was waiting for my period to start. My friends would joke and say that I was pregnant, although we all knew that wasn’t a possibility. I’d had a history of it coming late so I was used to it. I remember one of my friends giving me a back massage in the lobby of my residence hall because she was trying to “beat it out of me” (haha). It worked because it started the week prior to spring break.

    When we came back from spring break (second week of March), it was still on. My friends thought I was joking, but sadly, I wasn’t. A few weeks went by and “Cousin Flo” was still paying a visit. At this point, I started missing classes because I couldn’t keep my eyes open from being so exhausted. I was struggling because not only did I have to worry about class, but I had to worry about my job and the other organization I was involved in. I set up an appointment with a gynecologist, but I had to wait a few weeks because her schedule was full.

    I finally made it to my appointment in April, and she told me that I had PCOS after asking me a few questions. Aside from blood work, she couldn’t run any other test because my period was STILL on after a month and a half. She gave me a prescription for birth control to help me out.  My cycle eventually went off after almost two months. You would think after waiting for it to stop, I would remember the exact moment. But I don’t. It was probably because it stopped the week before finals and I had the flu that week also.

    The impact of PCOS is different for everyone. Although I haven’t had any two month long periods since then (thankfully), I can never really map out my menstrual cycle. I go through phases where it’ll be regular and I’ll go months where it won’t come at all. Whenever, it does come I literally sleep the entire time. Due to a hormonal imbalance, I also have to deal with the fact that hair on my face and other parts of my body grows rapidly. Even though my hair grows extremely fast on my body, I’ve had to deal with the hair on my head thinning and falling out. In addition to that, my weight fluctuates. I’ll gain 20 pounds quickly and then after a few months I’ll lose it rapidly and then gain it all back a few months later. Mood swings and anxiety are also something I have to deal with. I go through cycles with that too.

    There is no cure for PCOS, so it’s something I’m constantly trying manage because it’s very unpredictable. It’s been 4 years since I was diagnosed. I no longer take birth control because the side effects of the pill actually made me feel worse. I tried a few different ones before I gave it up. It’s been one big trial and error. I’ve kind of narrowed down what makes me feel good and what doesn’t. I’m still working to make changes in my lifestyle to help reduce my symptoms. There are still days where I don’t to go places because I feel uncomfortable, but those days are few and far between.

    PCOS is actually very common. 1 in every 10 women have it, however, most women aren’t even aware that they have it. While PCOS isn’t the worst medical condition I could have, it puts me at a high risk for diabetes, ovarian cancer, and infertility. Having PCOS isn’t fun, but I am determined to not let it stop me from enjoying life.

    To learn more about Polycystic Ovary Syndrome check out the PCOS Awareness Association website.

    -Kymmie

    A Twenty-something living with PCOS

     

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